Мне 35. И только теперь, после двух болезненных разводов я поняла страшную для всех женщин истину: чем больше внимания ты уделяешь человеку, тем меньше ты его начинаешь интересовать.
Это касается в первую очередь мужчин. Потом детей и всех остальных. Внимания вообще не должно быть много. И это важно. Когда внимания становится много, оно начинает давить и раздражать. И вот уже человеку кажется, что вы его пытаетесь контролировать. Любой излишек внимания будет раздражать и становиться поводом для скандалов.
У каждого из нас, независимо от возраста, есть личные границы. Пространство. Не нужно туда вторгаться. Не нужно стучаться и туда проситься. Оставьте человека.
К бывшему мужу я проявляла заботу и просто хотела быть внимательной женой. Чертово внимание все испортило. Оказалось, что ему это внимание кажется назойливым. Он злился, что я его контролирую. А мне и в голову это не приходило. Спустя всего 2 года брака, между нами выросла такая непробиваемая стена. И я, как примерная жена, очень старалась эту стену снести. И чем упорнее я пыталась, тем больше она становилась. Так и до развода дожили. А надо было просто успокоиться и перестать изо всех сил к нему ломиться.
Чтобы это понять, я должна была пережить 2 развода. Страшных для меня. Если бы я поняла это чуть раньше, может хоть один брак я смогла бы сохранить.
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